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Never married 23 year old father has child with 14 year old girl; he asks for advice

Your Question:
The father (23) of the newborn baby (3months) was brought up on charges for simple assault against the mother (14). The mother is indeed a minor but everything was under mother's mother (grandmothers) consent. Father was even staying with them on and off for good year. Now there's a PFA [protection from abuse order] against mother, father is fine with that but wants custody of daughter. Court had ruled that father has anger issues which lead to simple assault charges, No experience with raising kids, and is a sexual predator for having a baby with a minor. What can the father do to fight these allegations and win custody of his daughter.

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My Answer:

If you supposedly have a 3-month old child with a fourteen year old girl, it means you supposedly had sex with a thirteen year old girl.

I suggest you take what the judge told you to heart and seek out a support group for young fathers. This is your opportunity to change, grow, and mature. If you want to be a good father, that's your only path.

Because your email address is pretty unique, I matched it up to your MySpace profile. Your MySpace profile seems pretty juvenile for a 23-year old who wants to be a father. There's more to life than playing video games that deal with fighting or watching anime. At least I note that you're pursuing a college education, per your profile.

Bottom line is that if you want to stay the same guy who doesn't seem to express any remorse for having sex with a child, you shouldn't have custody of your baby (are you going to be fine with some college student banging her when she's only 13?!).

I'd typically suggest that a grandparent raise the baby, but if you're saying that the grandmother provided her consent for you to have sex with a 13-year old, I can only hope that all the parties would agree to give up this child for adoption.

Adoption would provide this child a stable, two-parent home. That's a far more promising environment than the one you describe.

Again-- grow up. If you don't do it now, you'll continue to make choices that damage your future.

Good luck.


This website gives common sense advice that is not intended to act as legal guidance nor psychological guidance. The author is neither an attorney nor licensed psychologist. For specific legal guidance or specific psychological guidance, consult with a licensed professional.

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